No way! She's not in the mood to write... she can't even feel the "warmth" of the last drop of the morning dew that has been stuck in her shallow, empty brain. What has happened to her? She has been upset at herself because it seems like she's having a hard time getting through tough times as the irritated, consumed tick-tock passes by. I bet she has never been scared in her entire Vietnam ventures... she is the strongest, bravest and the most fierce woman I've ever known. Is there something missing? I wouldn't say it is all about financial stability...nor her future.
There is something inside that she has been keeping all alone, while trying to figure out how could she be able to escape from that mischievous, dim promise of freely breathing under the scorching midday while the chilly wind gently blows her ugly squirms away. She has given too much... love, trust, "paid" relationship investments to people who don't deserve her time and sincere thoughts of care and respect.
Most likely, she has already built a putty, hushed walls around her fragile, feminine heart because getting hurt is inevitable like a thief of the night. She knows that she doesn't have anyone to lean on except the Lord. And... this makes her more "confident" to keep going though, her callous soles can barely hold her as she subsists on the ferocious, traumatic drama of the reality of life.
|this is how i am feeling right now...|